grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize