How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
