Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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