Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This baby is an asshole
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize