you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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