dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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