Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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