I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
4 words: hood of his car
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
