When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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