hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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