remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
