Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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