What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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