I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
