3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
