It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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