He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
