I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
