It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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