Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
