After last night, I could never be a politician.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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