It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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