According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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