At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
