my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
