So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
