For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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