People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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