I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
