Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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