I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
