So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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