$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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