Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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