So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am mentally ready for anal.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
