we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
