Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You ate ashes out of my bong
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