he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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