dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You are a genius and a whore.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
