so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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