i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
