I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
