And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
