I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
