Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
