we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
