oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
