soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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