we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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