I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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