I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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