literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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