My room smells like vodka and shame
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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