Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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