I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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