Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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