Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
