You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
