420 ftw
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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