And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That accounts for only three of the penises
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
