wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
