My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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