I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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